I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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