I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
