are you still at the devil's house?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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