2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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