My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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