She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
