it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize