If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
