I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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