ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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