I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
