just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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