If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
