this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
