can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
