Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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