Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
