I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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