I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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