How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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