but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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