she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
