great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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