she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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