I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
