You're so nebulous sometimes
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize