so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
