they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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