Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.