So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie