just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.