I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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