There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
