I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
