what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
