The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
