So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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