By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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