It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
