I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
