Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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