I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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