Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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