you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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