He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
