im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
