I wanna bring you to show and tell
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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