There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
