Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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