friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
