Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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