hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
