thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize