My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
