Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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