You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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