No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize