Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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