Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I believe in your delicious
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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