the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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