No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
