my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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