I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
