Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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